eNtIre

tooth dae

2006-07-22T08:55:00.000+08:00

okie look im so damn blur...ive got 327 post in this blog.. can u imagine??? haha nvm aniway guys...ive got another blog going on.... www.inn0c3nt-luv.blogspot.com i will be posting over there... gonna give this blog a brk.... well ive been posting in here for like 1 yr plus???? haha brk time !!!! cya guys at the new blog ^-*

okie so ytd i didnt post anitin... maybe cuz of all the tins i needa do... well ytd i screwed everytin up... haiz no more qns... cuz all that r supposed to noe alrdy noe... well todae like gonna die like tat.. haha kinda freak out... gosh!!!

msg him ytd but didnt reali tok much...well too much worries r in my mind.... so ya..

thx nico aka darling... everytin will be fine ya???

hha gonna msg jing han later !!!!!

projects exam projects exam.. welll pals... trust me im gonna work real hard this time round... no mroe slacking...haha too happy go lucky aso not ggd...

nic again

2006-07-19T19:12:00.000+08:00

okie nicholas.. stop ur "jokes" ya??? im rather pissed off ytd.. wel maybe to u.. u juz wanted sometin or wat??fun?? i dunno... but pls do rmb the fact tat u gave me up first... u didnt reali forget her so juz get away frm me... there r sometins i can give u... if im SINGLE..... if not.... den sry... N i hate it when ppl force me to do sometin i dun like...so dun ever try to force me...esp when u r nobody but juz a kor to me....in this world onli 5 person hu can force me to do tins... n they r... God , him , mum , adam n nico....

well im being bored..so i went to look at all my post again...
okie so here's my conclusion :

--- life was o sweet n peaceful in the past
well though tat time i reali dread bout o lvl n everytin.. but hey! wat's there to complain when frenz r always there esp six_ties???

--- i was stupid to have believe in u
i thought by trust ..tins will be gd.... onli den i noe how stupid i have been... u nv reali luv me be4.. if u did.. u wun do those tins u have done to me.... treat ur new ger well... she nv owe u anitin.... juz give her all tat u got.. but not all tat u gave me be4

---GB
its sometin which i enjoy going n luv... but nw... hu noes??maybe im no longer hu i m..

---my 16 yrs old period will always be the best
well mani tins happened when im 16.... ups n downs.. but so wat???? at least till nw i met someone whom i luv n cherish... n guess wat.. it happened when im 16.. so isnt 16 a sweet yr??? should sae sweet 16...

---miss those daes...
i miss those daes where i went for the award ceremony n got my leg cramped 3 times continuosly due to hrs of slow march wif GB 13th coy flag wif me... tat time was reali fun... new frenz r great...we crapped when we r rehearsing for the award ceremony.. when we held our coy flag we were like reali fooling arnd.... but the actual tin was cool haha....i miss those cheerleading performances n practices we've got.. its fun isnt it zephers???miss PBB camp.... miss RTC LTC LDC camp.. youth camp etc... haiz

hmmm

2006-07-19T18:52:00.000+08:00

well im in need of $$... im reali ya.. hha .. have been spending too much???? well ijuz wanna get some tins for myself.... woman's way of destress.. gd for economic growth but bad for pocket...my face is kinda getting worst... gosh aunt shirlyn will kill me if she c me this week.... haiz... my health is failing me.. my eyes r getting swollen everydae... im having breathing diff...my gastric is failing me... my wisdom tooth might be growing out.. my big ulcer 3 in 1 phew.... finali gonna heal... doesnt hurt tat much le.. the hole is on the process of mending.. mum wans me to pay some for my facial.. well i agreed cuz ya i should... i noe they r reali trying veri hard to give me all i need... my health n face... they cant afford but they kept going on... its my health its my face so im aso partially responsible for it... so gonna help mum pay half of it...till nw i noe tat my mum is veri disappointed wif my piano... i nv once disappoint them in my areas of work... onli in my behavior.... but nw i did..but nvm no more disappointment ya??? gonna work real hard wif my life.... juggling well wif every expects in my life...

well pals... pray for me.... everytin wasnt gd for me... i hate myself for disobeying God... cuz everydae he still blessed me as much as wat he did in the past... he did not create probs for me... but its myself... im not heeding his advice... so i kept falling into pit holes... but still he still make an effort to tell me : turn back n u will c me rite over here holding onto u.....gosh im bad rite??? everydae i sense him everydae i feel him... hu can be as forgiving as him??? frenz can u????

3 daes

2006-07-19T18:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm when did i stop???? okie aniway no matter wat gonna start all rite frm mon... mon was like.. tiring dae.. veri super tire... went home straight after sch... tue i had math test.. so i reali studied for my math okie!!!! haha super sian n tire.. it juz freak me out... numbers i meant... den erm tue had test.. the test was okie la... forget its past k!!! n erm okie i discover a wisdom tooth growing??? is it reali a wisdom tooth?? i dunno.... but i hope its not... i hope it grows straight even though it is a wisdom tooth... dun wanna go operate... dun wan!!!! den erm ya my tooth... got a nice name.. called xiao di... n tat hong hwee.. stop hitting my xiao di!!! den erm okie tue went out wif him... angela n shui fan.. we went to orchard... i bought 3 tops.. well im looking for real simple tops tat' s y i bought the 3 ... one frm surfbabe n the other 2 frm flesh imp..den erm ya wanna go buy a pair of slippers.. haha!!!den erm on wed which is todae... went to sch again.. as tire as ever.. den erm after sch got talk... might be taking cardiac.. veri scare n confuse..ya so tat's all... boring dae

all i wanna sae is thank God.. test on biochem was ccancelled....postpone to nxt week but nvm cancel for this week can le ..

hohoho

2006-07-19T18:06:00.000+08:00

its been a real long time ever since ive reali put in effort in math... well i juz dun like numbers...
c how happy i am !!!! haha.. wif him.. im always happy

okie n this is an overview of my "neat" table.....

von

2006-07-17T18:20:00.000+08:00

saw von's blog... gosh she made the decision???? reali ma??? gosh.... i noe how i feel.. but i dunno wat to do....

[when the oceans rise n thunders roar
i will soar wif u above the storm
father u r king over the flood
i will be still n noe u r God]

nice song.. luv it...

hey hey

2006-07-17T17:14:00.000+08:00

hmmmm okie so sat i was working.... n be4 tat of cuz was packed fully wif meetings GB n everytin...den after work.. gosh my gastric is being bad again... was behind squatting down....kinda terrible i guess.. den waited for train la bla bla bla..he met me n send me home... well i reali got lotz of tins wanna sae.. wanna tell him....wanna tell him how much i miss him...etc...but my ulcer is like aching like dunno wat n im reali veri tire.. so didnt reali tok to him....den ya after tat went to slp....den nxt dae was sun... veri tire..didnt wanna wake up.. but no muz wake up !!!cant let laziness cause more disobedience..den ya went to church n guess wat!!!! i suddenly rmb i gonna share sometin!!!! so veri ke lian no paper.... but thx to lovelle haha she lend me her reciept n i wrote on it.. haha pathetic sia.... den erm ya von sae me so ke lian... after i wrote finish.. she sae : u wan paper??? i got.... haha i was like... o gosh paper!!!! haha though she sae it a bit later but hu cares???? as long as there is paper...its better late than nv rite??? haha den erm after service i was feeling terribly tire.. went home.. cooked my lunch.. n after finishing went to meet jing han for yi jie aka xiong ye's present.. bought him an esprit top... haha den erm passed to him den i go home le... super sry to jing han.. cuz i was reali super tire so i went off.. n erm tat dae i was veri active cuz im reali veri tire... thx to evelyn she let me work on fri frm nxt week onwards.... i noe she reali ned ppl on sat... but sry evelyn... my health is failing me....den erm went home ya had my dinner den pass yeok ling my GB belt.. okie guys my GB uni is falling apart.. no belt no cap no name tag... haha pathetic sia.. den erm at nite he came to my hse... we had real fun.... ya juz pure fun haha.. but suddenly my eyes swell up... kinda serious... until he gonna ask me to slp.... i didnt wan to... i wanna c him more.... but i needa slp... he was there... helping me wif my ulcer.... haha n erm... holding my hand....patting me to slp.. again i felt the care.. but no hugging... haha no choice at my hse ma... den erm ya i fell aslp n he went off...so todae everytin was fine.. but im super tire again... tml math test... thurs bio chem... he too got test tml.. all the best to the both of us... n my frenz ^-*tml no poi's practicAl.... yesh!!!! go buy champage later!!!

okie guys.. im gonna buy 2 new tops.... n maybe slipppers??? maybe more tops i guess... c first...i wannna get a guitar.. but my parents was rather... haiz

needles

2006-07-14T21:01:00.000+08:00

okie im super pissed of wif dr xu's notes.. its full of error i should sae... firstly the sentence structure is simply too special for me to understand... secondly it contains too mani unnecessary tins so mcuh tat i dunno wanna study anot.. n last but not least... is the spelling errors.. gosh.. okie basically i hate physic tat y cant blame.. i reali cant stand the module.. haiz...n erm ya... i tink im going med tech haha... i luv blood banking.. i luv DNA... but NO .. i repeat NO taking of my blood... i HATE NEEDLES ....

o ya o ya... not to forget... dr xu has got new vocabs... haiz i onli rmb one... okie im stopping this stupid jokes n everytin... bad sia.... gonna stop.. CONTROL !!!!
measure= medels

okie guess wat.. i bought 2 coco again.. n i alrdy got 3 cocos in my fridge nw.. haha how am i gonna finish???

wed n thurs

2006-07-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

hmm okie so did i post bout wed or tue?? nvm i start frm wed.... hmm wed was a torturing dae for me... veri tiring wor... went to sch ya for lesson at 830.... den erm after tat sch ends at 2... guess wat we got our class lunch n we ate mac... den we drag till like 1.15 and we r stil not in clas for our tutorial haha.. den erm when we went in.. guess wat.. im still munching my fries haha.. den erm ya after tutorial den went to lib wif hong hwee n liting n rest for mth cad practice.. no choice got math cad test on thurs which is todae.. den after tat me n hong hwee stayed back for wat lei.. for biochem data sheet n ya tat's it... but the com tin reali drag us lotz of time so its like..kinda late when we finished biocem data sheet ... hong hwee veri ke lian cuz she gonna reali crack her brain on the data sheet... sry to her... den erm actuali wanna go orchard de.. but reali cant make it... so it marks the 2nd dae of not seein him..den after reaching home reali veri tired so todae slack a little... den erm ya hong hwee called me to settle the biophysic... den erm ya tat's it.. den erm nxt dae meet him to sch . finali c him... den erm after sch we went for movie.. pirates of the carribean sea.. veri nice show.. the show system is veri gd at cathy haha.. but the ending was lame n haha reali lame la.. no ending...a niway the show is reali veri nice... we nearly had our hearts flying out... den after tat we went for dinner . meet him again den erm eat le walk walk den go home... all the bst to him again tml for his eng test...

guess im gonna live my life real well... yup sadness definately will appear... but i noe... tat this enci can overcome it de... no matter wat...

hmmm

2006-07-11T19:24:00.000+08:00

back tracked a little.. on sat went to three quarter mile camp meeting... n after tat was GB parade... den finali its work time..working at 6 as usual.... den erm ya tat daae was veri super fun.. pa was like singging old macdonald had a fun...n the rest was a e ya e ya o .. haha aint they cute??? haha... n erm ya sun went out wif six_ties n yupz... den on mon haha ya its sch... so damn super boring... but eventually met up wif jing han n him for some kinda dinner n some mini shopping...tue which was todae was a veri speacial dae to me... i thank God for making tins so wondeful for me...for the gd tins.. is tat my practical test was supposed to be an individual kinda tin.. but guess wat... by God's grace it was a pair work n onli the data was individual.... n ya.. tat's real gd... wat saddens me todae was CRS presentation.... the bad tin was.. i put in kinda lotz of effort.. bu the leacturer juz sae : ur infos r wrong... ya i admit its kinda sometin rather bad.. infos wrong.. but i reali didnt expect it to be wrong... it was taken frm the net n frm 2 diff website...maybe the gd tin bout the presentation are those she sae ba... no matter wat there r always gd n bad.. for me... i rather look at the gd... tat's life isnt it???

well the tins tat make my dae veri special was tat finali i noe wat's wrong wif me.. well i tink somebody ate up my conscience... n tat somebody is one other den me...ive been a kinda bad person these few daes.... unreasonalbe..easily angered bla bla bla.. well no matter wat.. since ive decided to fa fen tu qiang on my sch work..im aso gonna work on my character...cuz this isnt supposed to be enci.... enci shouldnt be like tat... nah nah nah....

fun dae

2006-07-09T21:39:00.001+08:00

hey hey.. haa went out wif six_ties todae!!!! its reali a veri hapy dae.... n everytin suddenly went back to the past.. we played n crap like little kids ..... hao kai xin ar!!!!! haha aniway reali miz them lotz so todae is reali a veri memorable dae.... played pool wof them n discover my skill improve...at least my ball dun fly haha...n after tat we went to have pepper lunch.... n ya we went back after tat.. miz ya guys.... qian we going k box nxt sun rite>???? haha dun forget wor.. haha

o ya i told fang hui tat dae tat i wanna fa fen tu qiang n study haha... actuali is not i dun wanna study is reali i dun have time... o i should sae i play too much le... nvm im changing k !!!so dun luff at me le fang hui!!!!

juz changed my blog music.. a veri nice song by cascada-- everytime we touch... hope tat this song truely show u how much u meant to me... all the best to ya test tml... dun disappoint me wor ^-* ( u should noe im toking bout u ba ???)

everytime we touched

2006-07-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last
need you by my side '
Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat slow
I can't let you go want you in my life

Your arms are my castle
Your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times We've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last
need you by my side '
Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky
Cant you hear my heart beat slow I can't let you go
want you in my life

[ luv this song juz changed my blog music....]

me

2006-07-09T12:26:00.000+08:00

SAGITTARIUS WOMAN
A tall slim and graceful woman who walked proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition. If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step. She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy. She will not get up set easily. Self confident woman who belief in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one. She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more. She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home. She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders. She has no respect to a weak man. If she try to over powered you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respect you. She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself. She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says " Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy. If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story. She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable. She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again. She is a paranoid. If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting marry and lost her freedom and so on and on. A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy. She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy. She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself , so you should not bother what people think. Her wit and innocent look are her charms. She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something. If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.

[ okie guess wat . this is wat i found from an email sent frm my dearest wwan lian to me haha.. hmmm its kinda true bout the whole description... or i should sae .. out of 10 marks... 9 marks of it is true...]

gosh

2006-07-08T09:36:00.000+08:00

hmmm i seems to be a "problematic" child haha so much probs waiting for me ... gosh... i seriously admire those ppl hu r able to solve their probs even though they r stressed up wif tons n tons of tins...

okie aniway gonna go for meeting n evertin.. after tat working at 6...

messy times

2006-07-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

okie so basically this whole week im wif him.. no matter wat...we always met each other..yupz veri happy...went out on wed... thurs..daes juz go es by like this...

yup im unhappy when my mum sae how bad i m in piano.... n it reali hurts a lot when i placed my fingers on tat keyboard n everytin seems to be diff..the music it produces is no longer the same....

my sch work load are adding...GB tins are piling up n i feel so damn un important to ... forget it.. i always hate tat feeling ya.. no one likes it..n i still have got church camp video im gonna deal wif.. hey guys.. im onli a person... ya i might sux at dealing some porbs but no matter wat even a machine needs to digest.. so me too.. i need some form of digestion...

okie i hate needles n i reali do have some kinda fear for them.... i dun mean to cry ya haha... tat needle juz freak me out..

lab pic

2006-07-07T19:44:00.003+08:00

its our soap..forgot is it Na or Ca soap haha

okie n this is my mini weight lifter.... materials needed r simply 2 filter funnels ^-* the reagents n everytin

so its the test tubes display

fri lab dae

2006-07-07T19:44:00.002+08:00

okie so there's lab todae in the morning at 8 !!!! so damn sian lor... veri tire n everytin... but we nv forgot to take pics haha the first half r some pic we took be4 the lesson... we were like in our lab coats n ya taking pic too... haaha.. todae i s a veri super sian dae.. okie gonna put in my experiment procedure... haha or should i sae part of my practical

lab pic

2006-07-07T19:44:00.001+08:00

me n li ting ( n my face is cracking cuz of all the smiling n everytin.... i havent woke up k! haha )
its me n tabitha haha

lab dae

2006-07-07T19:44:00.000+08:00

n its the 4 of us...( wat kinda face im giving???? haha )
felicia n xiao hui
li ting n tabitha
the 6 of us.. haha joni n the rest r still not here !
hong hwee n me haah

2006-07-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

she's a veri simple person....
luv simplicity
luv chocolate esp when she's feeling down inside
luv her boi
luv her frenz
luv cheerleading
luv music
luv piano
luv the sun but hate it when her skin gets darker
luv hello kitty ( its normal k )
luv shopping
well when it comes to hate...the list goes on...
she hate lonliness
hate darkness
hate lizards
hate to study (so wat????)
she wun sae out her probs or cry....
unless she's afraid....
if not she rather solve it herself

hmmm decided to write this post out to c how contridicting i m n i discover tat..actuali not tat bad la haha

dae

2006-07-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

hmmm so juz gonna quick review wat happened on sun..went out wif jin on tat dae..watched movie n played pool at cine..was a veri fun n nice dae...we played pool n gues wat?? my white ball jumped n flew out of the table!!! o no so damn paiseh./..den erm we watched campus ghost story..haha stupid show i should sae... n erm at nite... me n him had a talk.. n ta da...everytin ended happily...

hmm todae was a veri funny dae.. we went to sch onli for CRS n we went home.. no biophysic... n tml worst..onli math in the morning n we sae bye bye.. wat the... so sian lor...haha

den erm....thx jing han haha im fine wor...nv gonna fall apart.... dun wanna disappoint u guys ^-*

2006-07-04T19:24:00.000+08:00

tat's my mummy lying down...haha cute lor
tat's my attire for todae..didnt have a full length mirror at home so took this pic in the lift...o no...
haha n this is the brigde constructed by me for the ants...hah

nice pics

2006-07-04T19:17:00.000+08:00

nice ma??? taken at erm... esplande de roof top...
so its me n jing han on her bdae ^-*

tops

2006-07-04T09:57:00.000+08:00

hmm haha juz gonna post sometin be4 i go to a boring place wif nth but reports n works...

had a kinda hard time this morning... cuz.... i cant find anitin to wear.. haha ... stupid sia im gonna get myself some tops i guess... how can i have 10 bottoms???? excluding those i dun wear at all...n i onli got 14 tops.... so its like kinda funny to me... gonna get new tops n get rid of old ones...

okie gonna go.... take care pals...haha gonna post some pics later at nite... cya

hmm

2006-07-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

hmm life stil goes on ya?? n im still tat ger i used to be... gd tin...

okie except for tat.. im juz gonna sae im "finting" !!!work work work n work....sch juz make me bore..nth else...dread sch sia...reports reports n finali still reports... oh faeces !!!

okie gonna write out a to-buy- list for my boi haah...boi u gonna do some shopping wif me!

okie im gonna spend my $$ n im reali gonna do so... dun stop me !

4 post

2006-07-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

unknowingly ive posted like 4 post a day?? gosh haha its like so mani post.. but im not free at all okie.. im rushing thru my biochem report like nobody's business...
ya pa c i told u i will be fine... i juz need some cooling down...so no more worries ya??? the prob i have i guess im not gonna sae it out again...i prefer to keep it since it doesnt bothers me ani more...
well the 4 post juz meant how heavy i felt these few daes...phew finali out !... okie so todae aunt shirlyn sae my health is improving..gd job..n ta da she veri happy wif my skin...i tink she kinda noe i had alcohol tat time...luckily she didnt sae it out..but she juz sae some chim tins...luckily mum doesn noe i drank too much....though she allows me to have it..but its in her dictionary tat i can onli have SOME ... was too MUCH tat dae...

frenz

2006-07-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

as i read thru the previous post ive posted ... i was kinda shock...my life was so peaceful n simple in the beginning.. all i had in mind is studies... GB..and fun wif frenz...even though in some post it contains sadness frm my stupid acts..but overall its still filled wif happiness... frenz i miz u guys..i reali miss the six_ties..sometimes when im sad even though i nv directly tell u uys.. u guys sensed it ... u guys made me happy...juz by being there for me...reminding me tat u guys r always there n last but not least...crapping wif me.. i noe its reali veri hard to keep a friendship going on.. but i believe tat we can make it... ya a 6 person relationship is hard but we can do it de.... no matter wat.. as long as we dun forget each other.. when we gather one dae..we will have real fun..dun forget to bring the xiao peng you home wor...
miss the tall ah jin jin tong xue , the crappy topics we had.. red red de tan wan lian, trying to scare her juz by hiding behind the stairs ! ... mature looking de qian , the real gd topics we had chatted be4... thin thin de pat , when she taught the whole bunch of us english.. and of cuz cute cute de b ling da , those cute actions done by her....gonna miss u guys !

chocolate mystery

2006-07-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

i guess the ger's lost....where is the ger hu always had a smile on her face no matter wat she faces. be it gd or bad....where is the one hu spends her day meaningfully...where's the one hu stand still n not fall when she face a bad situation...where has all the determination gone to???

i guess the sec part of my to-do-list muz include this part....the girl has to come back....

well ive been feeding myself wif bars n bars of chocolate...pals pls dun tink tat im not afraid of getting fat..im a ger im aso concern bout my figure...i juz cant control..so nxt time when anione c me wif bars n bars of chocolate..its an indication tat im feeling reali down inside..since the tins arnd me cant let me taste the sweetness of the world..den im gonna get coco to give me tat sweetness...its the onli tin tat nv fails to make me feel sweet unless im crazy n bought a dark coco..okie tat's not the point...the point is .... i ate lotz for dunno how long le... i agree im born wif kinda big stomach...i choose when i wanna eat more or less... but eating more n more is aso an indication of me feeling stresful n down...okie gonna stop this habit if not im gona increase my sweating moments....

miraculously..im able to smile again... few days of cooling down make me able to tink better n c a clearer pic...finali im reali able to stand up n start all over again... im gonna be real brave n face the theory test tat ive failed...reali gona fufil my to-do-list of the yr...n tada ! i believe tat cheerful ger will appear again ^-*

well guess wat..u're the onli one hu noe my probs...but u chose to....sian 1/2

messy

2006-07-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

my life is in a mess this few daes...mum has been telling me over n over again btw me n him..i dun wanna listen dun wanna hear...i dun wanna get hurt....wat is the world of mine turning into?? wat kinda life am i living??? is this the world???

veri sry to fang hui tat i didnt manage to go wif her todae...it wasnt planned...aunt shirlyn juz called suddenly n insist tat i muz go..n its alrdy thurs...so ther's no way i can change...

well i didnt my pay didnt increase so?? this is the world we're living in...everytin arnd me is disappointing me...including myself...look pals! i disappointing myself...wat more can i do??? im easily angered this few daes...i hate to tok ytd....tat's it

nic...where r u.... ur brotherly figure disappeared ... did i hurt u tat dae when u asked me to call u??do u noe i miss u alot??? do u noe how much i miss ur encourage n lame jokes???

darling nico.... i veri tire wor....

pa leave me alone ya??? i dun wan anibody to c this... i wanna solve everytin myself..this is my growing process n im not gonna fail it.. juz like i wun allow ani of my exams to fail...

jing han..im fine ya?? u're right everybody will be gd when they r happy...im trying to make myself happy...

family sux

2006-06-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

okie im pissed off n im reali....wat kinda family is this?? okie mum n dad...well i didnt sae u guys cant scold me but pls scold wif reasons can !!! how can u guys juz scold anihow u like??? wat do u guys treat me as???? im ur daughter k!!! was so stress after a dae in sch n when i got home tatis wat my dad sae :

dad: told u dun use so much sms c la nw exceed again
enci : i didnt noe tat M1 count like tat de ma.... its suppose to start counting on the dae u sign up the plan bu shi ma???
dad: i alrdy told u le y u so stubborn??
enci: i dunno rite
dad: io alrdy told u dun use too much first after i clarify den u use y so stubborn????

tat's wat happen..okie im at fault ya i noe....but can u juz dun keep on saying n saying like a radio??? sch is so tiring n stressful n all u does is like a radio..wat the...

n my mum adds in...n my bro adds in.. come on!!!! wat is this??? can i get some concern n peace at least??!!??!!

so the test was kinda fine dunno how "well" ive done juz leave it to God....im bad ya i noe...my temper is like dunno like wat...but all i wan is understanding family members...they had been scolding me unreasonably these few daes..wat is this??? if im at fault i admit but if im not at fault dun force me to admit..pls pals remind me to control..im afraid tat 1 dae i will juz step out of the hse n nv return

2006-06-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

ive always been tinking...y is it tat everybody's bdae everytime so fun....so much laughter..but mine is always so quiet n plain....juz becuz its nov?? or wat???

i hate it when u guys wana groom someone n when the fire starts to sparks off u guys juz blew it away like tat...im pissed off ya??? ( okie im not referring to pepper lunch ya??) dun ask me wat im toking bout cuz i dun wish to sae anitin n commment anitin

im being to doubt my family...my mum dun understands me ..she onli noes wat she tinks is best for me...but am i happy??? ya maybe becuz of the material tins i got..my dad always juz noe how to care but not communicate...my bro??? he juz continue to be the clown in my life..wat is this>?>??? maybe i should be happy first cuz at least this family is still a whole one..gosh i juz hate it!

sadd

2006-06-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

mum: wei miss ng got call u anot??
en ci : huh call me for wat??
mum:ur theory results la
enci:no she nv call...y how much i got???
mum:u tink lei??? how much u tink u deserve to have
enci:wa lao dun play wif me quickly sae la
mum:u got 62....

okie so wat i flunk my theory test by juz 4 marks??? so wat if ive given up my piano juz becuz i cant find time for it...so wat if ive lost tins tat ive once had since i was four yrs old??? my life still goes on...the world still spins like nobody's business..n when the sun shines again its a brand new dae...okie pals...no wories ya..u guys noe me well enuff.....i can cry veri easily..but when im forced to strive on for sometin..i will not drop one tear...

okie so here's my plan for the rest of the yr :
1) im gonna play my piano real hard n get my grade asap
2) im gonna study real hard
3) im gonna grow up!
4)im gonna learn how to solve probs tactfully
5) continue at pepper lunch unless he quits (well marry a chicken den follow one )
6)im gonna take real gd care of my body

idoilt

2006-06-27T10:13:00.000+08:00

happy bdae to jing han ytd....ytd kinda fun????tok lotz n ya nice dae...my world was like suddenly so mani tins went wrong....pa dun ask wat happen...i dun intend to sae...lets c wat i can do ba...
i flunk my theory test....
nobody noes how i feel..onli God...but ive disappointed Him....

simplicity

2006-06-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

can i have some simplicity in my world!!!!!

me n me

2006-06-25T15:33:00.000+08:00

well ive seen wats going on....im blur by everytin...dun wana c n dun wanna listen..the world is no longer as simple as wat ive seen....im losing wat ive got in the past..n forget it...this is life

2006-06-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

okie so here i m writting bout wat's happening to this world which seems to rotate in an opp direction...

went to chalet on thurs!!! yesh it veri fun !!! happy sia cuz wif pepper lunch stafff n its reali veri nice....kinda give lao da a big bye bye n hua n jing han their bdae celebration..firstly in the morning i meet him to go to yi jie hse to marinate chicken etc....he was veri late n i was veri tire cuz i worked 9.5 hrs the previous dae so im reali veri tire..okie den when we met we booked a taxi n went to yi jie hse..was reali sry to him cuz my hand reali no strength to carry the tins so he veri xin ku...den erm after marinate chicken n buy all the tins..we went to the chalet le...den erm we slept n waited till darling n the rest come..we played pool la etc den erm went a lot of place la..after tat at nite we got BBQ it was veri fun n nice..mani ppl came n slowly more n more ppl was in the chalet..at nite it was real happy...we played a lot n they bouight absolute vodka...i was kinda upset on wat ive done..its wrong i noe..im sry..but i reali had fun...the vodka n heinken previously made me real ***....all i rmb was tat i was veri super giddy n high..i was veri worried for jing han tat i refused to slp..he was veri upset cuz he noe i veri xinku..all i rmb was tat i was crying too ger when u cried..u noe how much it hurts to c u feeling so terrible inside???n when i cried he was at lost he dunno wat to do..

boi i was touched ytd..even though im *** ....but i kinda still noe wat's happenign arnd...i can feel ur presence n hug..when i veri xin ku u hugged me n pat me to slp....u begged me n slp n leave jing han alone..sry i didnt listen to u cuz im reali veri worried...n u were veri worried for me i noe.,.u refuse to slp unless im aslp...i kept going to toliet n u held me tight to prevent me frm falling..whenever i turnand fiddgy u will hold me even tighter n pat me more gentler hoping i can go to slp ...i veri xin ku veri giddy n u were there stil holding me n putting feng you on my head...when i cried i dunno anitin but i heard u sae : u dun like tat u like tat i veri heartache u noe....boi im sry i noe u hate to let me drink vodka n beer but u still let me drink cuz i reali wana have it..n in the end u didnt slp the whole nite cuz i cant reali slp due to the giddness...im reali touched when i sense ur presence...even though u r lost n u dunno wat to do u didnt give up but u continue to hug n hold me tight...i feel ur luv..im hurt too boi when i c u so lost...but at tat point of time i juz dunno..i dunno whether i should pay more attention to jing han or myself..

jinghan i juz wanna let u noe no matter wat happens to ur world..u still got frenz arnd..u can choose not to tell us how sad u r...but juz hope tat u can let us be there for u ...juz wanna let u noe when u need someone juz give me a call..i will get to u asap...

darling nico pls wake up n get urself straight...do u noe how worried i m todae !!!!

nice

2006-06-18T19:39:00.000+08:00

be4 everytin juz let me n my laopo take a photo...haha
n ta da...a sitting v extension ^-*

church camp

2006-06-18T18:51:00.000+08:00

double base demo...n tat's my leg haha
n when the guys hold me....haha bad wor.....
nvm gers power..haha its always better
double base extension wor... bad one haha ke lian von cherie n the rest...kinda tiring

happy n sad boi..im reali.....

2006-06-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

hmmm finali back frm church camp...its was fun ma??? gosh i still cant forget the houseflies arnd, yellow water , outdoor bathing n lastly the foreva similar food for all the meals...but overall i guess all these r not important...most importantly is how ive experience God thru this camp..i admit during the sec n third msg i totallly went blank...but for the first one i was totally awake...i listened to everytin n i was upset...i dunno wat im tinking n wat i wan..i still need time..like wat von sae..onli when i feel tat im reali ready n commited to give up wat im supposed to give up.den i will get baptism..if not..sry...i can onli sae im not ready....the best tin bout the camp iguess is the pool day when we played in the swimming pool.... the cheerleading stuff n everytin..haah..von we can do it de...we muz be determine ya????we muz try first..if we reali fail den nvm cuz its God's will..but anitin be4 tat we cannot give up..no matter how hard it is to make cheerleading perfect int he gers..we muz try...

todae i was reali shock n touched...i hate to spend his $$$ i reali hate..okie pals guess wat...he bought me the converse shoe i liked not the colour but the same pattern cuz dun have my size...den 2 hello kitty stuf to stick on my phone...i was reali happpy n upset cuz i noe how hard he had worked for his tat amount of $$$... he saw tat i liked those when we're shoping n he juz bought me those...i was real happy..when i saw how reluctantly n unwilling he was when it comes to buying his own tins..i nearly wanna cry...y boi?? y u rather buy my tins n spend on me...but on urself u r unwilling to do tat?? i admit if i were u i will do the same tin..but boi do u noe i reali heartache a lot..i reali veri heartache..boi i wanna let u noe...at ur times of darkness n tireness...if u r willing..juz reahc out ur phone cuz i will always be there waiting quietly for u....

[i love u n ive always do
i will nv leave u nor forsake u
i will juz wait quietly
till the dae u rmb
tat there is still a me]

i will always be there boi i promise....

im happy boi...we went out todae..no more buying of tins ya?? we save $$ tgt..dun be upset when u cant buy ur tins..rmb ive always sae..u still got me..

okie so my plan is : im buying shirt for him...shoe have to wait ar..suddenly take out so much $$ my mum will kill me esp when my bank book is wif my mum n so is my posb card...

wao so mani tins happen

2006-06-10T11:56:00.000+08:00

okie so erm this few daes im working...n erm ya got my cashier password...michael sae its supposed to be out veri early de..but they didnt let me noe most probably is becuz they thought they told me be4 le..until tat dae michael was blur y im using "spare" password...den erm on tat particular dae my left thumb was caught in btw the cashier cupboard...michael didnt noe my thumb was there n he juz pushed the cupboard so hard tat my thumb nearly fall off..haha my skin was kinda had a slight cut n kinda swollen ba...the joint was veri pain..n ytd guess wat...my same injured thumb was caught again btw the cabinet where the sink is haha n ta da!!! my joint hurt even more...luckily im playing the piano tgt wif miss june so which means to sae i onli need to use 1 hand...so ya luckil its my left hand which got hurt...n im playing wif my right hand ^-*
den erm ya reali had a gd talk wif him tat dae....den erm ya ive done wat im supposed to do...hope tat we will be better each dae...
pa...u're rite...im not supposed to give up..i should give a shot...ive did it n ya everytin turn out fine...but i guess this might be my last shot ba...i hope tat if the same tin happens again he could take the shot..cuz it shows tat i meant sometin to him....
darling nico n jing han...thx for coming down on tat dae...reali appreciated...was kinda shocked too...so sry tat i refused to pick up ani calls....cuz i was reali down n hurt... i wanna be alone..but no worried ya?? i wun do anitin de la :p....darling nico i noe u kinda got a shock but im fine alr wor...sry to let u dan xin tat time...n jing han too...
darling u veri fortunate wor..haha u r the first guy in my life hu c me cry 2 times..dunno y onli in front of u im able to cry...in front of pa i dun wish to cry...
hmmm finali finished my e learning....den erm ya tml going to malaysia for church camp...bye guys!!

converse!!!

2006-06-07T19:52:00.001+08:00

hmmm guess wat..im having a big headache..but im stil studying!!!! gosh can u imagine..my head is like storing so mani tins...n have to complete todae!!! cuz i noe tml i surely wun have time to do de..working tml...at 12 till 10..yesh!!! finali working long hrs..gosh im in need of $$$ shouldnt have wasted my $$$ on so mani tins..actuali i aso nv spend much la..but aiya come on admit ger!!! u spend a lot!!! okie so erm here i m saing again im spending like nobody's business..n nw im aiming for sometin....a new converse shoe!!! cuz its like so nice n erm ya its nice okie....its purple in colour n it has got two heads if i were to describe the design haha one purple n one green..gosh can u imagine!!!! the colour combi is so wonderful....haha n erm ya juz called my gers for parade this sat...finished revision...nw starting e learning..o man hong hwee im starting e learning!!!! fast huh? haha....den erm ya gonna practice my song if not during camp im gonna ma lu le...n guess wat..i havent print out the scores!!! haha gosh wat a "effective " pianist i m ..gona list the tins im gona do .. so here they r : practice my piano, complete my e learning, call the 2 missing gers.. n i tink tat's all...o ya need to preapre my uni if not tml cant go work....be pals....

understood

2006-06-07T19:52:00.000+08:00

darling!!!!i noe wat u wanna sae ytd le..i tink so haha...if u reali luv some one u wun care hu sacrifice more..u will juz sacrifice..cuz u luv tat person...im willing to be the one sacrificing ^-*
xie xie ni darling !

lib

2006-06-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

days went by bla bla bla....darling aka nico might be rite in wat he sae...i agree wif him bout the sacrificing part...wait till im recharged ba darling..
have been going to the lib wif my darling n jing han this 2 daes..completed some revision...gonna work hard in my studies ya??
im going away to malaysia for camp 11 till 14 june..pals cya!!!!

bleeding n drying up

2006-06-06T22:55:00.000+08:00

im waiting here..quietly..till the dae u decided to come n fetch me...u promised me tat u wun be the same as him...but wateva u r doing is exactly the same..i dunno wat's ur motive or aim...i juz noe tat lonliness is wat i hate most..n nw u r giving me tat...ive nv wanna blame u for tat..for leaving me alone..cuz i noe u aso bu hao shou...but ...wat can i do???the whole tin was so quiet n peaceful...i need some colours...dun paint me a pic when u dun have enuff colours...i hate to sae the same tin i commented on him before....im worried for u..worried for everytin..n at the same time im bleeding...wat's the point of ***when ***
i told u im going malaysia...but u sae : i forgot....u sae u will miss me..but ani actions??? no...den wat's the point of saying....im going away for 4 daes n u did nth..u r sooooo busy tat im nth....maybe ur heart is bleeding too cuz u reali will miss me..but u did nth to show me...am i supose to guess??? boi im drained out...mentally n physically

[im bleeding..u noe ma???]

[all i wan is u to be there...words without action is nth...juz nth]

kitty tins

2006-06-05T10:09:00.001+08:00

gosh im so tempted sia..so mani kitty tins r out to tempt me...stop!!! haah gonna control ya....kinda freak out by the world's logic on luv n all these...cant the world be more innocent n simple???

gosh

2006-06-05T10:09:00.000+08:00

okie so here i m complaining again...haiz church camp so damn sian..im the onli one in the grp..how can like tat treat me...im the onli teen ger n dennis is the onli teen boi...so unfair sia...tink le aso sian....dun reali wana go..but no choice...$$ give le...nw im beginning to sense god's discipline..gosh wat on earth is happening to me...nth seems rite...oh faeces....

sianz

2006-06-04T20:40:00.001+08:00

egg: all i wanna sae was..im rather disappointed in u...is there no friendship btw us??

nic: pls dun be there for me.pls rmb the fact tat im onli ur mei..so dun do anitin tat is over wat u r supposed to do...dote me like my kor....n tat's it..ive suffered enuff for u n tat the end...if we're meant to be we willl be tgt alr

bombarded dae

2006-06-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

okie so on thurs i went out wif fang hui n li ting...haha actuali is i go alone de..cuz i wanna get sometin for him..den ask if fang hui wanna go along..she sae okie..den after tat li ting came along as well..den we went tgt...gave him tins le den went home..fri n sat was kinda gd..den sun was damn tiring..was bombarded wif lotz of tins by my aunt..fear is within me..wat they sae was rite..its the future im loking at...boi dun disappoint me pls

messy

2006-06-02T19:41:00.000+08:00

hmmm ytd gave him sometin..i bought a box frm prints , a tiramisu cake which he had always wanted to have a taste of, a hp pouch which he always wanted one cuz he finds tat his phone is veri "exposed", stars which i folded when i went to KL tat time whenever i miss him n aso the hearts tat ive folded tat nite....gave him all these tins...i aso dunno y i wanna give..juz wana give him as our th month present n aso our 123 dae gift.. he was veri touched when he saw the tiramisu...juz wan him to be happy..
o ya thx pals..both of us okie le...tat dae i was reali shock of wat ive sae...i went total blank...reali.... cried to slp....cried when i woke up....cried when darling n jing han came to look for me... its 3 times wor...im reali veri guilty n sry but i dunno wat to do..ive always been doted by him....suddenly the one whose angry wif me is the one hu doted me the most..den wat am i suppose to do??? i reali dunno..all i noe is i wanna give him sometin..tins tat r frm my bottom of my heart... so i gave him a bottle of heart..a letter...tat's all frm my heart..tins i wanted to tel him..den tins juz went better...n finali he forgave me..
finali hols le..muz work hard for all my sub....n do well!!!!
was kinda freak out when i heard wat jing han sae...all i wanna tell u ger...is to reali take care...tins will be beter tat...it all needs time...got anitin muz sae out...dun keep to urself...

sianz

2006-05-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

a lot of tins reali happen this week...im juz blur by wateva happens this few daes...has a real serious quarrel wif him...angela was rite..its when u gonna lose him den u noe how to reali cherish him..but seriousl i noe how i feel bout him..i noe how much he meant to me...

went to orchard wif jing han..had a great time..

sry boi sry

2006-05-29T22:15:00.000+08:00

boi im sry im reali sry..pa was rite...i didnt tink bout how u feel when i sae tat...i dun mean it i reali dun..i wun find reasons to cover wat ive done..cuz i noe this time im reali wrong...i noe how much u mean to me n how much i luv u....

sian ar

2006-05-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm todae reali veri funny....i waited for him veri long..tat's not the point...de after tat u noe wat...the duration was so long tat it is more den 2 hrs n eventually my card cant go out...concession has got a rule whereb u cant exceed 2 hrs...tat's y..haha den erm yup finished kinda 3 test le...veri upset wif bio physic n biochem...reali veri super upset...biophysic i nth to sae...biochem was reali a heartahce....haiz...muz reali learn how to be the old me...the one hu reali studies hard n play hard...jia you ba....

veri ong nv post le wor

2006-05-24T19:06:00.000+08:00

veri long nv post le ba...still the same he dun have time to pei wor..but nvm ba i noe he nw adaes veri tight...but boi muz cntrol wor i reali dun wan u to torture urself like tat .... todae had my bio physic test..gosh its reali veri hard...it has more unknowns den equations..so how r we going to solve??? gosh reali lor..veri sad...told him bout it..he asl me dun sad..den he skipped his tok...n pei wo go shopping..even though later he working..but i reali veri happy le..u noe..so long he nv pei wor..nw finali can.i reali super happy le worr...c how happy we r...boi i promise u i wun let u go unless u chose to give me up first...

2006-05-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

long post

2006-05-19T20:14:00.001+08:00

okie so its been such a long time ever since ive posted anitin....is it veri long?? haha aiya i dunno la....aniway....on mon i wen to piano....but of cuz sch be4 tat... after sch i went to meet him..n we went home tgt..tat dae morning he wannated to send me to the mrt station haha but he overslept i guess..he sounded preety upset wif himmself...but its okie boi...haha...nxt time ya?? den erm after sch i went to piano..he went wif me...sen me over n he went for a hair cut...too short wor haa i like his long coloured hair....butnvm he will go dye back but not so soon...den after my piano he juz nice finish his hair cut..den we went to have dinner at swensen...finali i began to feel tat..he always goes along wif my idea..i sae dun wan wat den he will be okie...so whenever we go out for meals..he will always ask wat i wan..if we eat ex tins he aso wun mind....reali veri touched by tat....but i dun reali wanna eat ex tins..we cant always afford tat bu shi ma...den after meal he sen me home...n tat it....the nxt dae which is tue we went to sch...not tgt..den erm..ya he went to work after sch..i went wif him to orchard...wat broke my heart was..ya so wat if i have test the nxt dae...i juz wanna pei him ar...but he kinda juz sae sometins tat reali hurt me lotz...den okie nvm...i wanna go buy shoe..so he went wif me...when i was bout to pay..he held onto my bag refusing to passs to me...n he paid for my shoes..he sae he wanna pu chang the daes he nv pei wo....i was touched but i suddenyl thought of sometin : he bought me sometin to compensate...den isnt he like my parents?? boi i dun wan ur $$$ i juz wan 10% of ur time hao ma???as daes goes by my heart reali aches lotz...yup partly is becuz he cant pei wor..but most of it is becuz he's working too much n he reali veri tire....so i told him : u no time for me nvm but pls give urself time to rest....i rather u use ur time to have sufficent rest den kept working for dunno how mani daes in a week as if u no need to go to sch the nxt dae...tat's all i hope from him...den wed i had my test..went to watch poseidon wif jing han after tat...wao super nice show..will comment on it later haha...den thurs erm we went to sch tgt...i wore the shoe for the first time on tat dae..he asked me y... so i sae : u wasnt there on wed i wear tat shoe for hu c lei??? den he was kinda touched...on fri which is todae..i didnt go CD lesson so damn sian...den we went home tgt...he was veri tire....he worked for like tue to sun???? gosh how could anione take it....todae was a veri rush dae..i went home settle my physic project so damn freaking tire cuz reali veri funny the ppt...den settle le rush to angela hse to do parade stuff...n ta da!!!! im home again...gonna study late..muz study!!!!! left wif bio physic bio chem n ap test...jia you wor !!!!

long post

2006-05-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

officers retreat

2006-05-12T23:40:00.000+08:00

okie todae had our officers retreat...yup everytin fine...

emptiness juz filled me....once again....boi i cant manage to stand up again if the same prob happens btw me n u....juz like wat happens to me n him....pals..am i being unreasonable???can anione tell me???

once again i c tears filling my eyes....

sad 2

2006-05-11T22:02:00.001+08:00

tried to put a song in but failed eventually...a pile of unknown words appeared instead...
aniway my life this feel daes reali sux....duno wat's happening to me...ya they were right..there's sometin wrong wif my life..ive noticed it long ago too..but till nw i still cant accept this truth..come on...reali i cant...my life will be better...once i sort everytin out...my studies my family my relationship wif everybody...so pls dun make me make ani decision ani more...gona have kinda lotz of test nxt week on?? jia you my frenz!!!!

boi...i dunno wat to do..can u teach me??? all i wan is u to be there for me..but its like..u r busy..veri busy..i nv wanna blame u..sry if my tone seems wrong...i juz wanna let u noe how much i miss u during those daes u r unable to be there for me...i got angry in the beginning cuz when i reali wan to make a decision ....u make me feel tat afterall u r not tat worthy at all...i dun wanna make a wrong move..i reali dun wan...i got bad experience i reali got..tat's y i fear a lot...wat if i gave everytin up n in the end everytin did not turn out as gd as i wan???den when u noe it u promised me u will learn..okie den im fine..im willing to help....sec time i got angry...cuz u reali dun have time for me...n im aso worried for u...ur health..how r u ging to cope..pepper lunch n ur father's side...u r not metal boi...u need rest...but u didnt...u kept on working..even my mum could c ur tireness....maybe u might not have noticed..the last time u accompany me out was last mon...come on...last mon boi....i admit i shouldnt fuss up but i juz...i juz wan accompany...the tin is i cant blame u cuz its not ur fault..den can i ask....y izit tat u n him the same?? tins happened n i cant blame at all...not at all...okie den forget it..todae i hate to let u go....cuz i finli can c u...i wanna go all the way to orchard is not becuz i wanna pass my tins to pa personally but becuz i wanna spend time wif u...short short de aso can...i got angry again is cuz i reali dun wanna c u go to work.....i wann u to be there....

2006-05-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

他说他很爱她他说会守护她
他送她玫瑰花一切美得不像话
從朋友变成情人她不再只有自己
他爱他爱得徹底真心溢满了甜蜜
时间看清一个人开始令人昏沉沉
他像变了一个人太蛮橫
她开始悬著疑问不想瑞等他承認
不再要任何伤痕
谁爱谁谁又流干了眼泪
谁后悔难分难舍太伤悲
他爱谁谁应该止住眼泪
她心碎谁又该干脆离开
谁爱谁谁又能反反覆覆
谁后悔谁在忍受著孤独
谁了解他退出她孤独(谁退出谁孤独)
爱得太盲目(谁不满足)

cried

2006-05-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

im hurt..seriously hurt....cant u c my tears????

sad

2006-05-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

im stress boi..im veri tire le...wat can i do???when wil u exactly show me tat u r worthy of everytin??? i need u to be there but u wasnt..i need ur encouragement or even assurance some times but u nv once gave me....wat am i suppose to do???

when u show me how unworthy u r...den i will juz sae bye to u

new tins

2006-04-30T20:38:00.000+08:00

a new puma bag...actuali wanna buy green de but nvm pink is nice too haha..den finali got a belt which i can use for my mickey pants which far too big...den okie lor...juz change my blog music to JJ new song : sarang hae yo....veri nice song...luv it ya...
finali mum allowed me to work..fianli!!! im working every sat

blank

2006-04-30T12:17:00.000+08:00

miss sherine knew bout me n him..she was disappointed...but for me..im veri guilty..i noe im at fault..i juz dunno wat to do..i reali dunno...frm the start ive alrd noe tat ive to face this prob sooner or later..but i didnt expect myself to be so blank when the tin reali happens...

piano dream

2006-04-30T12:11:00.000+08:00

i reali hope tat my piano can continue...i reali hope tat...i dun wanna give up...ive always hope for the dae..when i got my grade 8 cert..its a dream...its a dream of every pianist to get their grade 8 cert.....den slowly diploma...a grand piano...a concert tat belongs to them...i aso dream of tat..but i wan it to be simple..i juz wan a grade 8 cert..tat's all..i juz hope tat i can play a piece of music of my own..a music tat can accompany my in times of trouble happiness etc...but i have to give up...give up this dream..but no matter wat i noe..i noe tat i will eveutally get my garde 8 cert..cuz i will work hard for it...

my promise

2006-04-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

me n mum quarel again ytd...wat the..i noe she cares for me..i noe she has got her reasons...but can i noe sometin...y is it tat she nv tink frm my point of view??? y is it tat she nv bothers to go n understand y i did certain tins???instead she juz scold..blames..im too stress n tire frm my studies...my piano....me n him...i need a brk...all i wan is her to comfort me n give me strength...not continuously bark at me for coming home late ...i hate to stay at home ..cuz when im at home..i will rrmb all the tins i need to study..[wat's wrong wif me?? its onli the beginning n im soo stress alr.....i wan to get into a uni...dun u get it??i force myself to study n force my way thru...tat's y im tire]...if she were there to comfort..i wun be like tat ....i wun dread bout going home...i dread bout going home every nw n den cuz i noe when i go home there wun be anione who will hold me n cheer me up..[but when im outside ive him...he holds me n cheers me up...my frenz making me foreva hapy..]i dun wan anitin....i juz wan her comfort...but all she noes is tat im being disobedient n stubborn..always tinking im not i fault...i noe by going home late is my fault..i noe my body is weak so i need enuff slp..all these i noe..but i reali need a brk..juz a moment of rest frm my fast paced life...if she doesnt wan me to have a brk..den she should be there to comfort me ... talk to me like before...juz like the time when im having my o lvls...teach me pals..am i being unreasonable??? ive always trying to be obedient n trying my best not to brk her heart cuz i noe my bro did..but when i reali need her she onli scold me.. trust me pals.i promise i will nv quarrel wif her again..cuz every attempt of quarelling is me hoping tat she could understand me n care for me.but since all these atttempts didnt work den forget it..i wun bother to let her understand me animore..im juz myself..i willbe her "gd ger" n foreva i will be...
canu imagine??? i cried to slp ytd

stop piano

2006-04-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

hmm veri long nv online le..recently lotz of tins hapen...okie folks...im not learning piano for the time being..cuz according to my mum : 1) my body is too weak to handle the stress... symtoms for tat = hands shivering dunno y aso. facial expression. lac of proper slp etc
2)since i have the foundation nxt time wanna learn again is not a prob
3) wat if i cant handle sch n piano?? im left wif nth
tat's y eventually i stopped piano. believe me pals i got one thousand n one reasons for not wanting to drop piano....but ive got no choice..i can onli to submit myself under my mum's authority...gosh...i reali hate the thought of it...the time ive spend in practicing the 3 pieces..even though short but its the effort tat counts.....the effort i put in it can nv be measured...haiz i trust u God....tat everytin wil be fine....
sch was fine??? veri stress ba..a lot of tins to study..or is it me giving myself stress???tat's me...im weak i admit...im not the ger u guys tink i am....i juz onli wan care n concern
fri will be our 3rd month...wao stil got long way to go....pa i wan everytin to last as long as it can de...tat's my ans to u...veri long nv c him le..dunno he gd ma..juz got to noe tat he;'s down wif flu...take care pa

boi dun be jealous wateva...u r diff frm ani body else...if u wan me to treat u like how i treat my frenz..den u r not special in my heart animore bu shi ma??? i treat my frenz in a specail way...pa in a special way..u definately aso veri special..so dun tink too much k..

super disappointed

2006-04-24T17:12:00.000+08:00

wat can i sae i aso dunno..but i was kinda disappointed bout u...i came all the way to the outlet...though im rushing for time juz 2 c u..n partly to fulfil my promise..but all u did is to do ur tins..u wanna help uncle i nth to sae...but cant u juz take few mins out to tok to me?? juz tat few mins veri hard ma??? but u didnt...boi....im stress up by lotz of tins...reali... i wanna hold everytin but u did not give me confidence at all..wat;s the point of me suffering so much when u juz dun seems to regad me as someone important to u???wat's the point of me having to feel the guilt when u juz...i reali duno wat to sae boi..i didnt noe whether im selfish or wat to ignore u the whole dae..all i can sae is...im reali veri disappointed..other tins seems to be more important den me...n its not the first time le... i noe u dote on me lotz..care for me lotz etc...but feelings without actions is equals to words without deeds...

sian ar

2006-04-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

haven been working for yrs i tink..haha juz started sch..lecture was veri tough..tins gets harder n harder each dae...piano is going dunno where..pls dun force me to stop wateva im holding onto..its not tat easy to learn these 3 pieces of music..i dun wanna end it juz like tat!

thx God...

2006-04-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

hmmm so wat can i sae??? basically i went thru a lot this few daes...i onli worked 2 days or 3 rather last week...n michael was veri guilty of tat...did i sae tat be4?? haah erm have i mentioned tat be4??? aniway i bought a new shorts n new shirt...4 pairs of ear ring tat ive been searching for ages,...tat's all?? haha have i sae tat be4???
aniway on mon i went for orientation..veri scare reali..cuz alone...but hu noes?? God is reali veri gd..he provided me wif a veri gd fren.her name is cheryl....she has got a character exactly like me...haha veri crappy veri blur veri bad sense of direction kinda bad sense of timing n our freq is veri much alike..so we click reali veri well on the veri first dae...didnt noe tat juz by shifting my place i will get to noe this wonderful person..God reali plan it real well..if i didnt change my place i will nv get to noe her...i trust tat this is a fren god has given me...ever since wat hapened to me be4 all i can sae is..i kinda dun dare to trust anione..onli some...so ive been praying real hard tat God will provide me wif a fren tat i can reali trust .... i have faith in Him tat she is the one...we promised to be real close sister n i truely believe tat all these promises will nv be broken...
went to work todae....opening...met him veri early cuz he needs to go sch early...pa sae tat it was veri nice of me to pei him like tat...n hopes tat he noes wat is the reason for me to do all these....will he noe ma??? will he noe tat this whole week i will be veri busy n im gonna miss him like hell??? will he aso miss me??? juz tat little??? will he ever noe tat when sch reopens im so afraid tat i will be unable to cope?? so much so tat i will choose to give up wat im holding onto??? pls...boi..i dun wanna give up..show me...juz show me a little.. tat this whole relationship is worth it for me to hold onto ,no matter wat difficulties im facing..

new tins wif mum

2006-04-06T10:57:00.000+08:00

bought a new pair of slippers...new shirt..new pants...yesh! i guess this is the best ever tin tat has happened to me soo far..but my $$$ pain ar ...

disappointed

2006-04-06T10:45:00.000+08:00

was kinda disappointed this few daes...he came back on mon...but im unable to c him..im working...at nite he actauali wana come but was aso unable cuz he was too tire...i dun blame him cuz i noe camp surely will veri tire de so i dun expect to c him....on mon veri little customer n aso veri little ppl working..i was the onli one hu worked until closing...tgt wif wei teck...waki n yee kiat..obviously yee kiat n waki both kitchen closing...wei teck cashier...n me the onli one outside...its so damn tough to work closing alone for outside..veri grateful to yi da jing han n alvin...alvin helped me wif the trays.yi da wif the serving n clearing...n jing han helped me close the back...sanitize table...n mop n sweep the back part..reali thx lotz to them...den at ten or dunno la...they go le...i rushed the whole place...veri hard reali..the sauce n all these...finali finish at dunno wat time la...den okie le go back...nxt dae i went out early to past nicole his apron n cap..hu noes his time is changed to six...den on my way to mrt station....the rain was so damn big...my slipper spoil half way!!! gosh so suay...de nvm mum brought my shoes to look for me..den okie la i go down pepper lunch...

i was soo disappointed when i heard u sae : i waiting for xiao hua...its not the person tat matters if u sae u r waiting for tim, yida or anione...i will aso be disappointed...cuz y cant u stay for my sake?? when obviously u nv did....u can wait for a fren..but not ur stead???? wat the...i was so damn upset...when i reached there..i didnt expect u guys will leave so early...when i was there i didnt c u....den i asked tim..den i noe tat u alr left le..at nite u came to look for me...but u were soooo tire...dun bear to be angry animore...so i changed the atmosphere to be light..but u didnt reacte at all....the nxt dae..how much i hope tat u can pei wor..juz tis time..but u were still veri tire...when i heard how tire u were..i dun even bother to sae out the request but juz ask u to rest well...guess wat...u went to work at 2 when michael phoned u...hua was rite..im veri upset but...no point...

hua i dun mean to mention ur name..u noe i wun pin point u de...juz cant accept the fact tat he can wait for a fren but not his stead....

beer dae

2006-04-03T12:57:00.000+08:00

ytd was a fun dae??? wai wai finali go le..haha i veri bad hor...waki is going too i guess...phew...haha aniway ytd the party was..haha took a little beer??? all of us were soooo high...den we piggy back each other....hua piggy back me....den yida pigyback nicole etc...haha sooo fun lor...we were like crazy sia!!! den pa was kinda sry for letting me have the beer...i asked for it..he gave me den jing han sae : wa lao so gd.... den he sae : all my hopes r on her lei !!!
haa kinda touch when heard tat....
ytd tat beer reali works well on me...kinda reali miss him...wif tat beer made me slp well..not sad at tat moment juz happy damn happy....wif frenz surrounding n high tgt..den the nxt dae he will be back..isnt tat gd???i was blurred by it...aso dunno wat i talking haha but its reali a fun dae...but!!!! cannot too often cuz i noe its not pleasing to God....

wat a ...... dae

2006-04-01T18:23:00.000+08:00

oh no can u guys believe it !!! i stayed at home for the whole day!!!no work...off wat...no GB..dunno y aso..n finali !!! no shopping...haiz...he went for camp le..how to manage those days lei???today i guess its the most meaningful day ive spent...firstly i woke up damn late...secondly i watched 1 hr tv...ate my breakfast..den had my quiet time ( veri long nv have le :( ) den after tat lunch...watch tv..use com...watch tv...play piano...n finali watch tv again n have dinner...read story bk..oh gosh..im going crazy man !!!! haiz
tml working at 6...but he's not there..eventually i wanna thx God...cuz my apron n cap was found! n last but not least..my ring...gobi found it..thx God...
going for speech day..but guess wat..im wearing a gio top n jeans over there..its bad to wear tat...not formal but hu cares...haha aniway hopefully it will be fine wearing tat...
nobody's arnd to pei wor...haiz yo !

[r u willingly to put tat ring back onto my hand???]

ring lost

2006-03-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

okie after my jacket n bk..nxt is my new hp..bought it not long ago...tat time went to enrolment...special thx to angela she pei wor go if not haiz...aniway the whole tin juz freak me out...seriously if im able to overcome it wif God's strength...i will be proud of my results...jia you enci!..
he went to camp le..4 daes 3 nitez..gosh torture man!...i felt super bad..i lost the ring again..twice le..bu shi gu yi de...juz..bu xiao xin..work opening ma...den he go le..no mood...the whole dae like kept having injury...den lost the ring...im too careless le...he will be..i dunno lor..
work n everytin was fine..juz wanna sae..i wil reali miss those once innocent daes...

[wat does it mean...to lose the ring..tat u once wore it on my finger...the veri first time i lose it...]

adidas jacket n story bk

2006-03-23T10:42:00.000+08:00

okie pals so all im gonna sae is ytd i bought lotz of tins..haha to me la...its a wondeful dae wif hua again...tat's gd cuz we veri long nv go out tgt le..haha but she's stuck wif me going arnd orchard to buy my tins...sry bout tat :p....i bought a adidas jacket tat i luv lotz..its lime green in colour...like it cuz of its colour ...veri nice....aim it for ages le...decided to wait for a while den buy cuz i not sure whether i should buy anot...in the end God let me buy cuz when i go buy its the last piece n its still there!!!! haha ...den bought aso a bk frm kinokuniya...shanghai baby ...nice bk...aim it when i went to kinokuniya tat dae wif pa n yee kiat...haha so i bought it ytd.den after tat actuali wanna buy belt de..cuz my skirt is far too loose le so have to buy a tighter belt to hold it cuz my gio belt cant hold it well hha...but cant find one which touch me haha...none looks nice to me...haiz so no choice...not buying first until i found a nice one! hmph ! haha...aniway ytd was juz a veri nice n wonderful dae....den after all the buying me n hua rush back haah cuz gonna catch a movie wif him...so have to rush back..ke lian hua again have to rush here n there wif me...haah...watch the date movie wif him..wat a stupid show i should sae...veri boring...its veri funny i admit but no meaning de lor..actuali wanna watch dorm but cant make it in time so no choice have to watch the date movie..haiz haha but nvm la aniway ytd i was veri veri happy .... thx for those hu pei wor ytd...special thx to hua haha...okie la gonna go le...guess im buying a new phone soon...yesh !

veri long le

2006-03-21T10:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm haha kinda long nv blog again....this few daes okie la nth much to sae..juz tat haha the restaurant is going dunno wat...bois out at cashier!!! can u imagine!!! dunno when its the gers turn to go into the kitchen...haha kinda long for it..
bought a new set of clothing...a mickey mouse skirt n a pink panter shirt...luv it...n aso a new pair of slippers which i reali need it veri much...
unknowingly...ive worked there for 3 months le haha....wanna work longer de wif all my frenz...but haiz guess we gonna part??? i aso dunno...aniway tins r definately going to change...enrolment nobody go wif me :( im the onli one which is on 27 mar!!! how can...going back on speech dae to get 2 awards....kinda sian 1/2...kinda cant imagine myself all alone in sch of life sc haha...true frenz r hard to find wor...
went out wif him ytd....veri fun cuz we veri long nv go out tgt le...but it will be perfect if he didnt force me to eat the carrots n immature corns...haiz juz hate those but he force me to eat...den after tat go work..guess im not going to jia jia scold yee kiat again le..its like shocking him out f his life..haha...

stupid daes

2006-03-15T10:23:00.000+08:00

hmmm kinda long nv blog le...last few daes went to camp..it was haha okie la dun wish to sae le...den erm everytin was fine...still dun have time to meet out to celebrate lian n qian de bdae...
qian ar qian..we face the same prob..time to grow up le !!!! its veri difficult...i noe cuz everybody is stuggling bout this...but i believe wif the strength of God...we will make it thru de..so we work hard tgt k???
pa ar pa..sry ytd forgot to call u...haiz veri long nv c him le..dunno how's he doing..fine ma??? got sick?? haiz....muz take care ar...
toddae was kinda freak out....i ask my mum when is the com gona go to my room..which is my bro com..i was kinda upset in the first place cuz i gonna use my bro's old com for my new poly yr....y he can have new stuffs but i cant!!! den okie forget it got com better den nth....im not getting a laptop i tink..cuz m neighbour go tell my mum its not necessary...gosh...okie so back to topic...my mum sae...the com will be moved nxt yr march!!!! cuz my bro last yr got lotz of projects so need the com....wat the!!!! i was so damn upset...den i how??? first yr no need to use lor....den still muz wait till march nxt yr when my bro's project all these ends...i noe my parents juz wana let my bro an xin complete his last yr...but i juz dun understand..den when i need to use lei??? go to living room use tat one??? gosh ....use tat one i dao bu ru go library use their com....kinda get reali upset n all i can sae is...okie lor..i muz honour them wat...forget it lor...dun even have the mood to study nw..
juz finished my piano exam last sat...n guess wat...i forgot to bring my pencil case along...den no choice go borrow frm my fren...haiz...this few weeks...tons n tons of work..dun have time for lotz of tins...not even time for myself...stress by piano exam...GB...work place...but wat??? nobody understands me..they juz sae : disappointed.... forget it...tat's wat i will sae....
settled wif my medical checkup n online enrolment...my enrolment dae is on 22 march if im not wrong...tat time last sat my dad bought me a fossil watch..luv it lotz...nxt will be my adidas jacket...n my table will come todae...juz the com which is lacking...
eventually i still thannk God for making my daes so smooth sailing..i guess its my mentality towards tins muz change

stress out

2006-03-06T13:46:00.000+08:00

kinda freak out by wat's happening n wat's gonna happen in the weeks to come or had alrdy came....al the best to me...

[u r no longer hu u r....is wat i heard in the nite]

2006-03-04T22:43:00.003+08:00

haha so nw im floding my web wif kitty haha

2006-03-04T22:43:00.002+08:00

last but not least..a couple haha'

2006-03-04T22:43:00.001+08:00

pencil
stickers
cups

bedsheets bedsheets
o gosh aint they gorgeous haha

2006-03-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

2006-03-04T21:50:00.003+08:00

wallet
ice maker
hp chain
mouse
keyboard

2006-03-04T21:50:00.002+08:00

iron
digital cam!!!
CD player again

n guess wat.....USB !!!!! o no !!!!!

2006-03-04T21:50:00.001+08:00

oh no hello kitty karoke set CD player
tv
n disc man!!!

2006-03-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

hankechief haha

hello kitty wallet bedroom slippers!!! cushion

change music

2006-03-04T20:59:00.000+08:00

okie so nw i change my music again..haha change to tong en -- ben lai....again i luv this song damn lotz..veri meaningful n touching.. juz luv it..no other meaning wor...

gosh..i dun dare to c my phone bill :p..surely get scolding again de...

ys ar ys

2006-03-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

till nw i guess u still duno the true reasons for me dropping those tears on tat dae when im sick...i admit partly is becuz of the whole illness tat reali bothers me n make me so unwell...but dun u noe tat the main reason is becuz of how much dun care u r???tat particular dae u were so lost tat u chose not to bother bout me...n i was all alone holding onto my illness n there's nth i can do..no panadols for me cuz im allergy to it...nth for me...not even a concern frm u...
as daes goes by...u've finali grown up...i should sae??? at least u care for me more n u make me eventually feel tat...u r not the other him...we were happy tgt....reali i guess??? im happy wif u...but on tat dae when both of us quarrel....i was shock..we had a small tiff which i feel tat its unavoidable..we should had tat quarrel long time ago..i onli wan u to change sometin tat is reali bad for u m i wrong???i can let this matter of this time..but trust me..for the sec time i wun let it off le...boi i care for u tat's y i bother....i dun wan u to regret...tat mistake is reali a bad one...reali pray for God's strength...tat he can change n tat he can be one of us...in the body of christ...God..bless me wif the courage n wisdom..i need those....

long time no blog

2006-03-04T19:32:00.000+08:00

gosh i was sooo shock tat i hadnt been posting my blog for soo mani daes !!!! hha reali ccant find the time to...hmm so wat can i sae lei..mani mani tins happen these few daes of cuz...reali lotz..but till nw i still wanna sae..hey frenz!!!! i still miss u guys...but as for u guys...still miss me ma??? i duno ba...juz wanna sae...everytime when i go back sch be it for GB or for ani speech dae rehearsal...as i pass along the corridoor...the canteen n every where of the sch..i had a terrible feeling in my heart..cuz the times when we studied tgt...stress tgt...n high tgt..it can nv come back le..so all i can do is to keep everytin in my heart n lock all these happy memories in my mind foreva...kinda hard to contact each other cuz everyone's working....r u all still holding onto the frenship tat we once had tightly like i do????
juz gotten back the posting results..yup i went to sp biomedical sc..its kinda strange..im happy cuz i got into a place tat's for me..but...no one was wif me..im alll alone...juz noe tat no matter wat i gonna grow up..i muz..n every step i take...pa will always be wif me..kinda felt lonely...but its okie cuz i noe tat i will nv be alone..cuz God is wif me..my rock n refuge...who will nv move away even though the world come into an end....three cheers for tat....
pa reali touched me lotz..there was once he had a straight 3 daes off n i had not seen him for 3 daes!!! gosh reali miss him like dunno wat lor..den on the 3rd dae he msg me....saying how much he luv n miss me....felt so protected by him...eventually he called me n we had a chat....felt veri sad for him for all tat had happened to him...y is it so unfair to him??? y!!! but eventually i juz sae....i will be happy for wateva decision he make in the end cuz i noe he has got big plans for himself...so i will support him till the end...juz aso wanna let him noe...tat i will keep my promise...i wun take instant noodles as my main meal again...n tat i will grow up to be a lady of gd character n take gd care of myself...luv u lotz pa

sian diaox

2006-02-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

hmm veri long nv post le ba,...this few daes okie la..juz tat daes juz go on the same way...made a choice to poly n hmm wateva happpens leave it to God...aniway we r happy tgt...yup...veri happy...todae veri sad..actuali going east coast...but yee kiat was called back suddenly...veri super angry...cuz its like finali can go n wat the!!!! reali veri upset lor..haiz..

tire man

2006-02-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

hmm ytd was valentine dae..haha everytin was normal??? we didnt went out cuz we working...but the previous dae we went out...he went to look for me at pepper lunch n we went out...veri nice n fun dae...felt so protected n everytin...went to hereen n paragon...haha i was like having fun n he's like pei wor...haha he nth to c..cuz shoppping is like tat de ma..no choice :p...den its like real fun n we went to watch movie...my kungfu sweetheart..thumbs up man!!! its a veri nice show..haha...den went home lor...veri super tire..those few daes im like working closing on sun..den mon opening at 9!!!! so its like mon i was like a dead person...n eventually i allowed him to carry my bag after the show haha cuz i reali veri veri tire..can u imagine!!! haha but reali felt veri happy...its enuff le boi..reali...pa's concern for me is cuz im his girl..so he concern...but for u..even a gd nite msg is veri super enuff for me le..i dun need much..i dun need u to spend $$$ on me..no need...juz a care n concern is gd enuff le ^-*....

den tue work 12....pa was like veri unhappy bout me having to workin closing n opening....no choice ma....den ytd i cleaned the fridge...veri busy ytd...cashier closing was yi ta hu tu...but me n jess manage everytin...helped each other n had a fun time though tire...hopefully todae the big boss will be happy wif our nice results ^-*

later going out wif him ! haha hopefully we'll enjoy...

instant noodle de story

2006-02-10T11:08:00.000+08:00

pa was veri angry wif me ytd for eating instant noodles...i promised him be4 tat i wun take instant noodles again..but ytd i was too hungry n i ate...he was angry but he care lotz for me..he msg me to remind me to cover blanket...but he aso msg me to sae bout the noodle stuff...haiz...felt sry for brking the promise....
i guess sometimes i juz have to accept how life is gonna change...as we grow up we r bound to meet new peeps n frenz..not onli tat...we aso have to go new place n learn new tins...no one can stay foreva tgt...but i juz hate the feeling of needing to part...it hurtz lotz...reali...i wanna stay foreva tgt...y cant??
ytd i work till closing...thx tat hua was there to help me wif it...finished it early i can sae..den everytin was fine....he meet me at the mrt n we went home tgt...i was damn shag ytd..reali shag...

2006-02-10T10:47:00.000+08:00

getting results todae...

bu xiang zhang da

2006-02-09T10:21:00.000+08:00

so fan this few daes..me n him..veri gd..he treat me veri well...better den last time de lor...den erm my mum was okie wif it.. so can guang ming zhen da lor..tml taking results veri jin zhang ba...den erm he bought me a hello kitty bracelet n ring..like it lotz..but heartache his $$ for him...this few daes pepper lunch was crazy...the schedule n everytin...so stupid...anger a lot of peeps...reali lor...den haiz dunno la..todae gonna be hard time for us...wasnt feeling gd lately...hua was down...me too was down wif lotz of tins...den reali dunno how lor...i hate the feeling of growing up...y muz we grow up??? move on?? n lose frenz tat we cherish lotz???pepper lunch was once a place which i ahte lotz..no meaning i thought...but frenz r the tins tat held me back..frenz ...the feeling of working tgt serving tgt tire tgt luff tgt n craze tgt ...but nw...tins r moving on..the feeling is gonna lose soon...i didnt wanna go cuz i miss my pa...lotz of tins im gonna miss..but can anione tell me..without the frenz...wat is the meanin of staying there ???its juz an empty nut...without anitin...first is zhen yu ...den hu's nxt??? i cant control anitin but i reali sad n hurt by those decsion of theirs...den nxt is life after os...taking result going poly..new life new place..im lost again...new frenz bla bla bla..i once thought tat if i go poly i wil be happy cuz i can start everytin again..but nw i dun wan.i wanna remain...but i can control i ahve to grow up....but im scare..fear lotz of tins...wat m i going to do??when can i change this thought of mine?? when can i reali grow up n not fear animore??when can i be independent!!!!

pa...luv ya always

2006-02-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

i finali got it!!!! the dae when i went pepper lunch n pa cooked an egg for me..tat's becuz tat dae is his bdae..he once told me he hope to cook sometin on his bdae for us to eat...n he did...but i onli got to noe his bdae frm jess this few daes...finali ba..but didnt get to buy him anitin....he was veri sad n worried by my illness..sry pa..i will take gd care of myself de...pa didnt like him at all..i noe...i aso dunno wat to do..even if i insisted on my ways..he will not object..but he will be veri sad n woried tat i will get hurt...can i trust u?? trust tat u will not let me get hurt??? so tat pa will not get worried bout me??n tat i can tell him confidently tat u can bring happiness to me...can???

i trust him too much le..juz becuz i choose to give him freedom n trust...eventually tins turned out bad..im too innoncent to believe tat he still luvs me on the dae he walked away frm me...sry i cant reali trust u...its not ur fault...but i juz hate myself....dun wanna make the wrong choice again...u understand ma???

change music

2006-02-04T12:24:00.000+08:00

change my music again..to vivian hsu ai xiao de yan jing..gosh luv this song lotz haha

sick !!!

2006-02-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

gosh i felt so bad...ytd i had a terrible time..shop half way discover tat...im sick!!!! but i still went to work dunno y...den work half way i reali thought im dying..my throat is super damn pain...my gastric was not gd..my fever was running high..giddy plus headache..everone was veri concern bout me.....yi yi even sae : enci jia you...haha...so touched sia..n waki was like holding my hands n ask if im okie..juz tat ys...like i nobody like tat....but sort of didnt blame him cuz i noe he got ku zhong..tins r dunno going which directtion...aniway ytd reali felt veri terrible..den closing tat time i reali cannot le..but i manage to finish everytin..juz tat i didnt manage to clean the floor...have to shout for help..den i went down to rest..wao reali cannot le..everytin pain...den i sat there pull my hat lower n eventually i cried...cant tahan le..den jess was comforting me..hua was helping me wif the floor...n ys eventualy came to console me...gave me hot water n honey water cuz my throat reali cannot..den after change le..i sat wif waki..he was like caring for me..making me smile n everytin..den okie le went home tat time kana nag by mum...i noe she cares for me..but i so big le..wat for...haiz...den todae went to c doc...okie le but cant go work n parade...wasnt allow to..den called daniel up...felt veri sry..but he sae its okie n ask me to rest more...haiz...hua todae have to do everytin alone..felt even bad bout tat....adam pa was veri concern bout me n ask me to take care dun make him worry n heart ache...sry bout tat too pa

pa....dui bu qi

2006-02-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

veri veri long nv update le ba....cuz i went to malaysia last fri..or sat?? haha i dunno n came back on tue...its veri tiring but i veri happy..my daes in malaysia is a torture...i miss everytin a lot...reali lotz..my frenz in pepper lunch...six ties...adam pa...n of cuz tat egg...every dae in malaysia is juz : SIAN..nth to do..when i came back.i was so damn happy...all i wan..is to go out n c my frenz..even though im working late..even though im super tire...but its okie....i juz wana c them...juz a glance...eventually i went to work ..my time was 6 to eleven...tiring but reali....its fun n i tire until veri happy ^-*but the worst tin is..i forgot to xiag wor de adam pa bai nian !!!
as daes go by...adam pa dote on me more n more..he revealed more of him to me....he reali showered his luv n care towards me...n to me..he's reali like my father..care for me...buy tins for me to eat....he will always sae : girl eat le ma???.....n most of the time there will be tins for me to eat...he will buy for me...during new yr..he even gave me ang bao..n the amount is...no one can imagine de...the gesture of him giving me reali touch me lotz..n i even forgot to bai nian to him!!!!he was veri disappointed but all he sae was he wans me to grow up well etc..n in short he juz hope tat i will grow up to be a refine lady of gd character...isnt it sweet???he's veri protective towards me..when he noe i cant slp well...he kept consoling me...making me so touch tat i felt like if i still dun slp well...im not letting myself down but im letting him down...when daniel sort of "sae me" ..adam pa immediately approached me n teach me short cut to make my life easier...he comfort me n juz show me tat he dun like it when anione scold me...when waki played a trick on me by jia jia scold me..he aso not happy ...he's reali veri sweet...

as daes goes by i dunno wat im tinking..gosh everyone sae u r a nice guy....but y..i seem to c his shadow in u...u promise me u wun be like him...but....pls dun make me do sometin stupid...dae by dae u r juz makin me lose my trust..n eventually everytin will return empty

egg ar egg...i dunno wat to sae le....u juz do wat u wan ba...inkless pen...pen is our symbol..how can u sae its inkless...

opening

2006-01-26T09:18:00.000+08:00

finali ytd!!! im done wif my off daes haha...so wat lor..give me off 2 daes..veri sian ar!!! stupid rite got off still complain..but its reali damn freaking sian lor..den i was like chatting wif my lao pa this few daes..so fun sia him..he reali treat me like his won daughter..chat wif me..teach me lotz of tins..we're veri close n he reali dote on me lotz..kept bringing tins for me to eat..cook egg for me...veri touch ....he aso sae a lot of tins tat make me feel so touch..even to my real father i aso wun hear this kind of tins haha....aniway this few daes was a torture n finali i work on wed..but its stupid aso...i nv do opening be4 n they actuali put me opening n they purposely de cuz a ot of ppl remind them : enci dunno opening..but they still haah den nvm i juz do lor..juz crack my head n tink..eventuali lei..okie la juz tat pepper reali freak me out...haha n everyting was fine ...after opening den brk wif hua n ys...n after tat wrok..den off at 6pm..met angela her cousin n weiling..shop shop eat eat den go back pepper lunch to find hua...haiz..y cant u all believe me..im reali waiting for hua de lor...den sun bian wait for ys ma...hu ask him aso finish work at 9...den hua aso veri funny de lor..reali wait till 11 for them..gosh...i thought she kidding sia..den tgt wif waki push me out of the door..den no choice..my strength so small..admit defeat ba...this few daes hua n angela have been warning me..bu yao xian tai shen...but eventually i still find myself going in the wrong direction...no matter wat..i can onli blame myself..but i will still try to bring myself back...i have to....

2006-01-24T11:06:00.000+08:00

ytd went orchard to c jessilyn cuz she wanna buy half jacket ma...so pei her go c cuz she sae she cant find whereas i rmb seeing lotz of them so i show her where lor haha...den ytd went i go my lao pa cook an egg for me!!!! haha he noes i luv spring onion eggs so he coked..he cook veri nice de haha so when i reach pepper lunch i took the egg n eat...he so gd...fan shu lao pa!!!! haha...den erm when to far east n showed jessilyn the jacket den after tat met angela aso at orchard...den go eat wif hua...den go back wif her..she bought a shirt n shoe haha...den ys was in the kitchen...ask him go wif us he dun wan...sae he wanna slp..haha so as wat ive guessed its too cold to slp so eventually he called me to c where me n angela is..so he came find us.angela bought her crown necklance n she so damn happy haha...den we went arnd hereen n cine to find my lao pa de xiao lu bao!!!! but juz cant find...gosh actuali wanna buy sometin for him as his bdae present de...but cant...cuz i cant find the xiao lu bao...so thought of buying him sometin to eat...sometin nice haha....